Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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