I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is classic penis vs brain.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
