you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize