From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
