I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
