Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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