Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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