PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
