I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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