YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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