i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
