The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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