She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
