So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
