he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
