That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize