im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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