I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
