I can text with my tongue
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
