You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The air was thick with penises
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
