the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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