Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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