Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
