Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
