I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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