after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
