Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
