ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
