I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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