I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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