I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Nicole vs. Life
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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