pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
