Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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