Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
