if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize