What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm passing your future prison.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
