got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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