Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
