what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
