he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
