Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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