I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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