I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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