i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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