fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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