so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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