The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
