omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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