you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
