He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
