Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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