There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
