I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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