I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
