They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
