Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
