I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
