If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
