have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
