you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
